Flat Brimmed Hats....by Cyrus Gould

What is it about flat brimmed baseball hats that has lead to there continued popularity in the urban fashion scene? They are not very comfortable, they look a bit silly, and they cost more than most baseball caps. They are on the heads of rappers like Jay-Z and 50 Cent, and they sit atop the crowns of punk rock kids and skaters alike. The flat brim phenomenon is breaking down barriers between genres, races and class lines. But why, what is it about these designer hats?

Well, I have a theory. It seems to me that this fad is the direct result of the physical and social environment we have created on earth. We have depleted earth’s ozone layer, this means the sun’s rays shine brighter and are more harmful to our skin. The “larger than usual” flat brim provides ample shade for the face, helping to quell the destructive cancer causing properties of the sun.

Another sort of urban pollution is advertising. City dwellers are exposed to hundreds if not thousands of advertisements in a given day. Messages flash before us begging our attention, on busses, bus-stops and billboards, they are everywhere. With such a huge amount of ad content, how is the current urbanite expected to absorb all this “visual junk-mail?” A better question might be; how are they expected to ignore the barrage of ads?

The large flat brim usually sits low on the forehead, just above the bridge of the nose. The brim is effectively a “blinder” that blocks overhead billboards and signs, cutting the “ad-assault” in half. Also, the hat puts direct pressure on the “third eye” which is where the base of the brim rests on the forehead. This pressure point is known to cause a soothing effect during situations of stress or sensory overload.

In conclusion, flat brimmed hats are more that just a fashion trend. The design of the headpiece is a direct reflection of the environmental conditions that exist in large cities. Kids are sporting the headgear to combat skin cancer, and to remain calm amidst the advertising overload. I need me a flat brim hat ASAP.